We both had Dr. appointments today, had to take the day off, and all of that stuff. Bruce had his first visit to a sleep clinic to figure out why he is snoring so much. It was just the initial consult, he didn't actually have to sleep there yet. Is it sleep apnea? I don't know....I don't think he actually stops breathing. But he is having that checked out and that makes me feel better. He will go in for the sleep study in early October. Apparently, lots of people need to have their sleep evaluated around these parts, so it takes a while to get an appointment. I had round 2 with the Digestive/Liver specialist. No real news yet. I am waiting on the results of more blood tests. And he wants me to go have some kind of gallbladder test in 2 weeks. So....? Waiting, and more waiting seems to be the order of the day. Somehow, we managed to sneak in a lunch date between Dr.s and cars that needed oil changes. LOL. At least there is that.
And beyond that, nothing else is new. Its still hot, even though school is back in and the calendar says it will be September tomorrow. Traffic in town has tripled since the college students are back. It makes me crabby. They drive so freaking bad that its scary. They also shoot out from between parked cars on bikes and skateboards without a care in the world. I am just trying not to kill somebody. I was downtown on 10th St one day this past week, sitting at a red light. The light turned green and I started to accelerate when this young boy on a bike dashed across the intersection and barely missed getting hit....by me and 2 other cars. It made my heart stop and I don't even think he noticed. Crazy!
It has been a long, hot, muggy, swampy and hateful summer. I can't wait to see it come to an end. There has been so many things going on. Some horrible, some minor but annoying....everybody that I know practically has been in an upside down state, like a bad case of evil planetary alignment. Let me say right now that I feel grateful that we have been on the minor inconvenience end of the spectrum. But the barrage of minor crap has seemed endless. For instance, just last week our red Impala needed a new battery, Bruce's car needed brakes, my work car (mail carrier, you know) had the passenger window stop working. It was in the down position and would not go up which is unacceptable in these unsettled times of torrential rain almost every day. And that same car also needed the anti-lock brake system fixed. Which Bruce did.....twice due to a faulty part....before it finally worked. Add to the neverending to do list the fact that given all of our rain, the grass in Eastern NC has been growing at double the rate of other summers. It was on the news. People almost need a robotic lawn mower, like those roving robotic floor vacuums. Set it on 24/7 because you can almost see the stuff growing.
And yet, while I bitch, I also know we are mostly ok. Annoyed, exhausted, but fine really. And I can almost see light at the end of the tunnel. In a couple of weeks Labor Day will be here, and while September is still quite warm most of the time, it is drier, more tolerable temps. NOT the classic Death Heat that comes in July and August here. I am itching to see those bright orange pumpkins start showing up. A few of the farmers have huge displays in their yards around here, selling pumpkins and hay bales, and corn stalks right on the front lawn. I LOVE seeing it. Its such a happy sight, like water to a parched throat.
I had a mini breakdown Thursday night. Minor glitch. I'm fine. I was just so tired. Work has been overwhelming, the heat feels claustrophobic and I am still dealing with the weirdest thing. It feels viral. Sore throat, slightly upset stomach, and fatigue. It has been hanging on, coming and going for months now. I have been tested for everything under the sun, but nothing shows. My Dr. really thought it was some kind of auto-immune thing, but blood tests all show negative, which is a good thing. It might be allergies, or thyroid issues or maybe I am just crazy and imagining it. Who knows. But it still keeps on keeping on, despite anything I try. So I mostly ignore it and try to act like everything is normal. But it all caught up with me, having felt sick for most of last week, and dealing with the stress of heat (I work outside for 4-5 hours a day), and everything that I touched breaking (mainly those darned cars), and all of that kind of stuff. By Thursday night I had had it. I made up my mind to call in sick and just take a mental health day to regroup, get some rest, and hopefully feel human. But the stupid 800 number with the automated voice prompted call in for unscheduled leave service was NOT working. I tried multiple times. For some reason it just hit me, and I felt waves of anger, frustration, exhaustion....I had a good cry over it. I was too upset to sleep that night, too. But I got up and went to work on Friday despite it all. I refused to argue with supervisors as is the way if you HAVE to call in to our office and actually talk to a real person. It is easier to just go work, seriously. But now, we have had a restful weekend and I feel much better. My throat doesn't hurt and I am only mildly tired. And the week ahead looks like low 80s, so maybe the lower temps will help. I feel hopeful that this summer is finally coming to an end. I am holding the door wide open so it can make its exit as soon as possible. Good riddance to some seriously negative energy. The fall is going to be better. I can just feel it.
And yet, while I bitch, I also know we are mostly ok. Annoyed, exhausted, but fine really. And I can almost see light at the end of the tunnel. In a couple of weeks Labor Day will be here, and while September is still quite warm most of the time, it is drier, more tolerable temps. NOT the classic Death Heat that comes in July and August here. I am itching to see those bright orange pumpkins start showing up. A few of the farmers have huge displays in their yards around here, selling pumpkins and hay bales, and corn stalks right on the front lawn. I LOVE seeing it. Its such a happy sight, like water to a parched throat.
I had a mini breakdown Thursday night. Minor glitch. I'm fine. I was just so tired. Work has been overwhelming, the heat feels claustrophobic and I am still dealing with the weirdest thing. It feels viral. Sore throat, slightly upset stomach, and fatigue. It has been hanging on, coming and going for months now. I have been tested for everything under the sun, but nothing shows. My Dr. really thought it was some kind of auto-immune thing, but blood tests all show negative, which is a good thing. It might be allergies, or thyroid issues or maybe I am just crazy and imagining it. Who knows. But it still keeps on keeping on, despite anything I try. So I mostly ignore it and try to act like everything is normal. But it all caught up with me, having felt sick for most of last week, and dealing with the stress of heat (I work outside for 4-5 hours a day), and everything that I touched breaking (mainly those darned cars), and all of that kind of stuff. By Thursday night I had had it. I made up my mind to call in sick and just take a mental health day to regroup, get some rest, and hopefully feel human. But the stupid 800 number with the automated voice prompted call in for unscheduled leave service was NOT working. I tried multiple times. For some reason it just hit me, and I felt waves of anger, frustration, exhaustion....I had a good cry over it. I was too upset to sleep that night, too. But I got up and went to work on Friday despite it all. I refused to argue with supervisors as is the way if you HAVE to call in to our office and actually talk to a real person. It is easier to just go work, seriously. But now, we have had a restful weekend and I feel much better. My throat doesn't hurt and I am only mildly tired. And the week ahead looks like low 80s, so maybe the lower temps will help. I feel hopeful that this summer is finally coming to an end. I am holding the door wide open so it can make its exit as soon as possible. Good riddance to some seriously negative energy. The fall is going to be better. I can just feel it.
It hasn't been the easiest day so far. It is not, by far, the WORST day ever, but still....My sister is having some difficulties and as usual, when the going gets tough, she gets going....into hibernation mode. Which is mostly fine, because it seriously is her way of dealing. I mean, she has enough on her plate to not need to worry about MY worrying. And I know that, but at the same time, I haven't slept well this week. I feel sad and worried and helpless. She needs space and time to process and I need to talk and be reassured that things are going to be ok. But I am doing my best to hold back and let her have the freedom to not talk until she is ready.
And I also am still dealing with this weird low grade virus thing that has my throat feeling like I swallowed a bag full of broken light bulbs. And I am just so freaking tired. One would think that at some point, when you get so dang weary that the Universe might look down upon you and cut you an inch of slack somewhere. Like maybe the cats could feed themselves for a day, or the laundry might magically end up clean and folded. Or at the very least, work could cooperate by not sucking for just 1 single day. But apparently not in reality. Because work sucked as long and as loud and as hard as it possibly could today. And I had a semi-minor problem with my car as the cherry on top of a day that made me want to ....I don't know what I wanted. Partly to throw a huge hissy fit of "this is so not fair" anger. Partly to roll on the floor and weep until the cruel Universe would finally recognize my weariness and cut me that slack I was hoping for. What actually happened was that I sucked it up and kept on keeping on. I finished the work day and came home. Kind of anti-climatic for a woman in the mood to have a gigantic sh&t fit, huh?
But things improved a bit. My husband met me at the door with pizza. Not that I was particularly craving pizza but still. Being exempt from having to cook, or even think about what to cook for dinner was wonderful. And Stephen and Hannia came over for a bit. They were bringing back a borrowed cooler, but stayed and chatted with me for a while and it cheered me up considerably. And then I opened up my email to find a fairly long and descriptive email from Erica about her week, and I was cheered even more. She stays busy, so she always emails, but sometimes it's brief. I always cherish the longer ones that fill me in on some details of her life in the UK. And somehow, with this small handful of little things, I started to feel better. And I remember exactly why I keep on keeping on when I want to lie down, give up and cry myself a big ol' river. Its because no matter how crappy the day, there are still hidden little gems that make it all worth it.
Also? It is Friday and that helps too. LOL. I hope you all have a safe fun weekend ahead.....I hope to catch up on sleep, kick this sore throat bug to the curb and figure out how to stop letting life's inconveniences trip me up so badly. I want to be strong, stedfast and unflappable. And not a single one of those words pertain to any aspect of my true personality....sigh.....Oh well.
And I also am still dealing with this weird low grade virus thing that has my throat feeling like I swallowed a bag full of broken light bulbs. And I am just so freaking tired. One would think that at some point, when you get so dang weary that the Universe might look down upon you and cut you an inch of slack somewhere. Like maybe the cats could feed themselves for a day, or the laundry might magically end up clean and folded. Or at the very least, work could cooperate by not sucking for just 1 single day. But apparently not in reality. Because work sucked as long and as loud and as hard as it possibly could today. And I had a semi-minor problem with my car as the cherry on top of a day that made me want to ....I don't know what I wanted. Partly to throw a huge hissy fit of "this is so not fair" anger. Partly to roll on the floor and weep until the cruel Universe would finally recognize my weariness and cut me that slack I was hoping for. What actually happened was that I sucked it up and kept on keeping on. I finished the work day and came home. Kind of anti-climatic for a woman in the mood to have a gigantic sh&t fit, huh?
But things improved a bit. My husband met me at the door with pizza. Not that I was particularly craving pizza but still. Being exempt from having to cook, or even think about what to cook for dinner was wonderful. And Stephen and Hannia came over for a bit. They were bringing back a borrowed cooler, but stayed and chatted with me for a while and it cheered me up considerably. And then I opened up my email to find a fairly long and descriptive email from Erica about her week, and I was cheered even more. She stays busy, so she always emails, but sometimes it's brief. I always cherish the longer ones that fill me in on some details of her life in the UK. And somehow, with this small handful of little things, I started to feel better. And I remember exactly why I keep on keeping on when I want to lie down, give up and cry myself a big ol' river. Its because no matter how crappy the day, there are still hidden little gems that make it all worth it.
Also? It is Friday and that helps too. LOL. I hope you all have a safe fun weekend ahead.....I hope to catch up on sleep, kick this sore throat bug to the curb and figure out how to stop letting life's inconveniences trip me up so badly. I want to be strong, stedfast and unflappable. And not a single one of those words pertain to any aspect of my true personality....sigh.....Oh well.
I'm a teensy bit under the weather today. Nothing major, just a sore throat/not so great tummy. I figure it's the obligatory airplane travel-induced bug. I can't seem to figure out how to travel anywhere without catching something or other. I just feel grateful and lucky when it hits AFTER I get home and doesn't interrupt vacation time. And its not even bad enough to make me call in sick for work. Just enough to make me tired-ish and miserable AT work. Yay! At least tomorrow is Friday and that is a good and wonderous thing. So, I am feeling crummy, and out of sorts, completely sick and tired of hot weather, and longing for cooler days. Work is making me want to run off screaming into the wilderness, and all I want to do is take a nap. But I know it is a temporary glitch, and I will be mostly ok again soon.
But we had a blast. Our hotel view of the falls was spectacular. We went to fabulous restaurants, and saw beautiful places. I have a ton of pictures, some of which I have shared on Facebook. I enjoyed every single minute of our vacation. Of course, it was sad to have it come to an end. Even sadder to head back to work this week, but apparently, working is necessary.
I haven't meant to neglect my blog for days like this, but things have been crazy busy. The new blogger interface continues to be weird and glitchy, and it makes me want to stab my computer screen with knitting needles.....but hopefully, eventually, the bugs will be worked out. ????? Blogging feels more like work instead of a fun hobby in the meantime.
So, I had made vet appointments for 2 of our cats on Monday. It wasn't ideal to ease back into reality by mundane things like that, but the cats were due for their yearly check ups. My sweet girl, Omen, was 18.4 pounds. Apparently that is appalling for a domestic house cat. LOL. She has gained over 3 pounds in a year, and while that doesn't really sound like much for a human, it is a whopping HUGE big deal for a cat. She is a big girl, with large round tiger paws....but still. The vet says that her ideal weight is more in the 14 pound range, and so I am having to put her on a diet. Which means ALL the cats must diet, because food can't be too readily accessible. It is hard for her, and it is hard for me. I don't like to make her unhappy. And somehow we have got to force exercise on her. We haven't figured out how exactly. We have lots of cat toys. The other 3 cats LOVE to play and run and chase fake feathery birds, and mice and red laser dots. Omen....not so much. She might swat at a feathery thing if it swings close enough to where she is reclining, but she is NOT going to let it disturb her rest. Any ideas of irresistible cat toys, or games, or anything that might make a feline couch potato want to leap up and run and jump and play???? Our vet has given us a dire warning that she is headed for feline diabetes if we can't get this under control......my poor sweet kitty.
If you know me at all, then you know that my daughter Erica is working in England for 3 years. I talked to her this afternoon, and she is doing well, having fun, but not loving the work. C'est la vie....not many of us love our jobs. But the people, the experience....all of those parts of her life in the UK have been wonderful so far. And I am glad. But I miss her, you know? Like really, really miss her sometimes. Not that she has lived at home in 10 years, not since she went away to college. But at least she was close enough to run up for a weekend, for shopping and dinner. But England requires a substantial chunk of time away from work and a large expenditure of money just to get there. Its not something I can just get a wild hair about, drop everything, and run over for a couple of days. That part makes me sad.
But we still talk a decent amount. She keeps me mostly up-to-date on what is going on in her life by email. We Skype at least once a week, and sometimes we call. Today I confessed that while I KNOW she wanted to experience life in another country at this perfect time in her life of being young, and single, and unencumbered....sometimes I have self doubts that whisper in that part of my brain that NEVER shuts up that if I were a better mother, my child would not feel the need to leave the country. She laughed and said of course thats not the reason....but still....whatever the reason, whether its because I was a sucky parent, or she just wants to live someplace else for a change of pace, it doesn't stop my missing her.
She will be home for Christmas, and I am excited about that. And then....we are going to have to plan another trip to Europe next year. I would say we will go to England again, but Erica has suggested maybe someplace else. Maybe we can meet and visit in a place that is not chilly, damp and raining....LOL. Because honestly? As much as I had fun exploring the quaintness of York, it pretty much was chilly and raining the whole entire time. I suggested that she make weather a consideration for her second Post Doc. Stephen and Hannia, after enduring an Indiana winter, have vowed before God and everybody that weather will definitely be a consideration for them from here on out. And speaking of that, both of them seem to actually enjoy this heinous heat we have had this summer. Maybe I should spend some time in the Mid West this coming winter so I can learn to appreciate something that I despire. Maybe????
But we still talk a decent amount. She keeps me mostly up-to-date on what is going on in her life by email. We Skype at least once a week, and sometimes we call. Today I confessed that while I KNOW she wanted to experience life in another country at this perfect time in her life of being young, and single, and unencumbered....sometimes I have self doubts that whisper in that part of my brain that NEVER shuts up that if I were a better mother, my child would not feel the need to leave the country. She laughed and said of course thats not the reason....but still....whatever the reason, whether its because I was a sucky parent, or she just wants to live someplace else for a change of pace, it doesn't stop my missing her.
She will be home for Christmas, and I am excited about that. And then....we are going to have to plan another trip to Europe next year. I would say we will go to England again, but Erica has suggested maybe someplace else. Maybe we can meet and visit in a place that is not chilly, damp and raining....LOL. Because honestly? As much as I had fun exploring the quaintness of York, it pretty much was chilly and raining the whole entire time. I suggested that she make weather a consideration for her second Post Doc. Stephen and Hannia, after enduring an Indiana winter, have vowed before God and everybody that weather will definitely be a consideration for them from here on out. And speaking of that, both of them seem to actually enjoy this heinous heat we have had this summer. Maybe I should spend some time in the Mid West this coming winter so I can learn to appreciate something that I despire. Maybe????
It's been a strange weekend. I am having some issues again with my foot....The Dr. said the tendon problems would likely reoccur occasionally, but if I take some preventitive measures quickly that I could probably head it off before it got really bad. So I have spent most of this weekend back in that bulky, heavy boot cast. I slept in the night splint. I am hoping not to have to take time off of work though, so hopefully I can get by with taping the offending foot up and wearing good shoes during the day and spending the time at home in the boot. One issue that I have is that "good" shoes does NOT equal "cute" shoes. Insert long heavy sigh of the soul here.....But whatever. I am going to do what I need to do so that I will hopefully be ready for my vacation without pain, or a boot cast. This time around I am not able to take any kind of anti-inflammatory meds, including ibuprofen, so I am going to have to utilize as many non-medication treatments as I can. I went out today and bought new, ultra-padded sneakers with excellent arch support. My old ones were pretty worn, and the padding was no longer cushy. Hopefully it will help.
And then there was the shooting in Aurora, Co. I am at a loss for words on this one. It is so senseless, and so sad. I can't even begin to comprehend being in a situation like that. And I have no idea what the answer to tragedies like this might even be? I know it has sparked all kinds of debate over gun control. People who are for it, and people against it. I am not a fan of the NRA. I think lobbying should be illegal. Period. Tougher gun control is not a problem as far as I am concerned. But on the other hand, my husband has wonderful memories of skeet shooting with his Dad. He is a responsible gun owner.....so??? Maybe the answer lies in mental health education, availability of treatment, getting over the stigma. Again, I don't know if even that would have helped. This young man was bright, was never in any kind of trouble....were there any indicators that would have been helpful in determining he was a risk? I don't know. I don't know if anybody knows.
So the weekend was spent wearing this boot, and trying to keep this foot up while watching way too much coverage of the tragedy. We had storms both days, so being outdoors wasn't really possible. I am ready for summer to end. I want to walk without pain. I want the world to be safe for me and for my family to be able to go out for a movie or other entertainment without fear.....and I don't really know how to achieve any of it. My heart is heavy and sad tonight.
And then there was the shooting in Aurora, Co. I am at a loss for words on this one. It is so senseless, and so sad. I can't even begin to comprehend being in a situation like that. And I have no idea what the answer to tragedies like this might even be? I know it has sparked all kinds of debate over gun control. People who are for it, and people against it. I am not a fan of the NRA. I think lobbying should be illegal. Period. Tougher gun control is not a problem as far as I am concerned. But on the other hand, my husband has wonderful memories of skeet shooting with his Dad. He is a responsible gun owner.....so??? Maybe the answer lies in mental health education, availability of treatment, getting over the stigma. Again, I don't know if even that would have helped. This young man was bright, was never in any kind of trouble....were there any indicators that would have been helpful in determining he was a risk? I don't know. I don't know if anybody knows.
So the weekend was spent wearing this boot, and trying to keep this foot up while watching way too much coverage of the tragedy. We had storms both days, so being outdoors wasn't really possible. I am ready for summer to end. I want to walk without pain. I want the world to be safe for me and for my family to be able to go out for a movie or other entertainment without fear.....and I don't really know how to achieve any of it. My heart is heavy and sad tonight.
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