Patience...or lack thereof

I can't get myself together enough to write a blog.  How sad is that?  I have been mired in conflict with work lately until I am exhausted from the effort to NOT lose every shred of sanity that I ever possessed.  I don't know where the end of the conflict lies, or what it will hold.  It involves an office that has been operating on such a skeleton crew that we don't have enough clerks to actually get the mail to us.  I wait 2 or more hours a day.  Yesterday (I was at home but in contact with the office) carriers had to wait 3-4 hours to be able to leave for their routes.  It is ridiculous.  Our union seems useless, nobody seems to be able to figure out how compensation for time wasted should work.  I just feel anxious and angry all of the time, which in turn, makes even my off hours and days feel ruined.  Its a failing system, and I know it, but still....I should have the ability to do what I can to fix it, deal with it, and get on with my life outside of it.  And I can't figure that part out.  I get angry to the point that I feel my brain explode and I can no longer see straight on an almost daily basis.  It can't be good for my health....mental or physcal.  I don't know....

So anyway, thats what has me blocked with the blog writing.  Blocked with living, too, apparently.  I am almost ready to throw in the towel and walk away while I'm still standing, but again....6 more years and I can retire officially with benefits and all of those kinds of things that I really DO need in the long run.  I am going to talk to my Dr. at my appointment in a couple of weeks.  I know I am depressed.  I am sure that doesn't help my ability to cope any.  It would be great to figure out a way to just hang in there for a while longer.  So....yeah.  Its a crazy situation and its making ME crazy.  Hopefully its temporary, and things will become more tolerable soon.  In the meantime, forgive me if I am a slack blogger.  You don't want to hear from me when I am in a mood...LOL.