Please leave me the hell alone. I broke up with you years ago when I realized that "real life" didn't give me 3 months off to celebrate you like it did when I was a kid in school. We are OVER! Stop relentlessly stalking me. I have found somebody new. His name is Fall and he is sweet and gentle. Never harsh! He woos me with sweaters as cuddly as a baby's blanket, and boots in buttery soft leather. Fall understands me. He would never ask me to appear in public in a bathing suit. He never allows loathsome mosquitoes to suck my blood. He keeps those abhorrent snakes at bay. Fall is cooler than you could ever hope to be. He makes me happy.
You can never win me back so please stop trying. It's September already, so pack up your disgusting heat and your tiresome humidity and go away already! Seriously! I am on the verge of taking out a restraining order. I hate you and that is never going to change.
Sincerely,
Me.
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